Civilisation

I actually wanted to talk about something... general today. But I wanted to talk about something else beforehand. I'm sure all of you have friends, whether they're imaginary, real, distant, inseparable, they're all friends. I have real, solid friends, but their loyalty, is fake, gaseous, imaginary. I mean no, not all of them, just one, single group. Bah! Who needs them when I have my loyal friends who I know will never leave me or judge me.

Okay back to the original idea. I want to talk about the Jahiliyyah period and this modern, civilised era. Do you actually know the meaning of civilization? Or do you just think it's something like, the thing you call when people live in a modern place, complete with appliances and community? Civilization is the development of the outer, physical, solid, external and spiritual, mental. Now that you know the definition, do you think our era is civilised?

During the Jahiliyyah period, drinking alcohol is a norm. What about now? Don't even talk about alcohol, even drugs are nothing new! During the Jahiliyyah period, people commit adultery without feeling any guilt. What about now? Nothing different, I see. During the Jahiliyyah period, newborn girls are buried alive. What about now? Boy, girls, all of them, all the innocent child born from foul, vile bonding are thrown away. Where? In garbage cans, flushed in the toilet, thrown in rivers, dumps, drains, thrown from an apartment, left to be eaten by pests and rodents!

We, the so called modern people, who have looked down on the Jahiliyyah period, are worse than them! So stop thinking so high and mighty of yourself and look back on what you have done.

Are you yourself civilised?

MRSM Acceptance

Assalamualaikum,

I am writing to tell you guys that I was offered a spot in MRSM Tun Ghafar Baba or MRSM Jasin as it was known before its 25th anniversary. I applied for MRSM Taiping, but I got a better one, and for that, I am thankful to Allah. Alhamdulillah.

I'll miss my dear friends who have stuck with me from the beginning to the very end in JESS who are Aliya, Syazana, and Atiqah. They've been very loyal, very nice, very supporting, they guide me to the right path, they still do, mind you and they almost know me too well. I know Aliya and Syazana will miss me. I'll miss you guys so much. I'll write you guys letters before I go, so you'll have something to remember me by.

And friends who are going away, I hope you remember the ones who are going their separate ways and the ones who are still at JESS. They've been with you for three years, they deserve their share of memories.

People who I have hurt or scar, I am truly deeply sorry. If you want compensation, come to me for it and I'd be glad to give it to you depending on the value. If you want me to seek for forgiveness directly, tell me. I want a fresh start at a new school, not carrying old sins on my back.

I know I am sort of a spoiled child, but I'll strive to get used to the new environment. No pain, no gain, aite? I want to join the swimming team, if there's any. I know there's a swimming club... I know my hands will get rough from all the hand-washing-clothes. I know I'll be sleep-deprived. But I have to face them all.

I know my paragraphs don't have linkers. That's because they don't relate to each other haha. I was thinking of posting something like, touchy and sentimental like this but alas, I'm a bummer for those kind of letters. Not hating or anything, but I just can't type like that... But I wish I can. So, I'll end this at this. This is not a farewell letter okay :*

Love,
Dania

Sorry to Say

I have a friend. But she comes to me when she doesn't have a friend. When I don't follow in her footsteps, she leaves me and goes off with another who follows hers.

In this post, I would like to express my disappointment in her. We went to tuition together, so obviously she sits next to me all the time. During tuition, she texts a guy. She said that he's not her boyfriend. I used to resent him so much last year but I apologised so I don't hate him, I just like, don't care or whatever. When I asked her who was she texting, and she answered, I decided to be playful like last year, like always and say "eeeeeww!". She didn't even look at me or acknowledge that I was saying anything. Okay, never mind.

When I got home, I was infatuated by Hana Yori Dango. Tomorrow I'm gonna go to a DVD store and look for the DVDs. Since I already watched the whole series (season 1, season 2, final movie), I wanted to search for a new drama, J-Drama preferably, so I sent a message to my 'friend' asking her for recommendations. Guess what? I sent the message like 30 minutes ago and I still haven't got any replies. None at all. What a great friend.

You can reply your 'NOT BOYFRIEND's text while learning but you can't reply the one you claim as your 'best friend's text at all? Sorry to say, but **** ***. I tried to find other words to express my disappointment and anger, but only those two words came to mind.

Lost Hope

I went to netball practice for the first time in my life just now. I arrived at school at around 3.50 pm by bike. I sat on a bench in the canteen full of hope that Iman would come there quick. Alas, she arrived. The practice began by running three rounds around the netball court. My shoelace untied itself magically during the last round  and Zahra told me about it. I tried to brush it off by saying it's okay and stuff but she said it'd be very dangerous , so I tied it up again.

Then came the horrifying part. When they did the in-and-out or whatever it is, I... failed miserably. Not only did I didn't jump, I couldn't catch the ball well either. Finally, a senior taught me privately by throwing the ball at me and made me throw it back to her quickly until my hands almost went numb. I didn't give up yet but I felt like this sport wasn't for me. Then Fithriyaani coached me. The ball hit my face at least twice because of my inexperience catching it. Playing defence to me just meant preventing the opposing team from getting the ball, not catching it myself. Soon, I felt light-headed. I said "I don't think I can do this (being on the team for a long-term) but Iman and Fithriyaani encouraged me by saying "Don't worry, it happens when you're new". If you can guess what happened next, you obviously know me well.

I almost fainted.

No big deal, I faint once almost every month. Twice each month if I'm unlucky and it's a schooling month with no holidays. Thrice if there're sport practice. 

Okay so back to the story. I was sent to the canteen, feeling very light-headed and tired. My hands felt really numb. I felt very useless. Like I disappointed everybody. I disappointed myself. I have never trained a sport for a long-term and not faint or almost faint. Swimming may be the best sport for me, but the first time I swam 10 laps of freestyle? I couldn't get up in the changing room and everything sort of became dark. Handball? Even though I scored a goal (superbly if I may say so, the senior said so too), I still didn't get picked for the school team. 

When I first started freestyle last two years, I kept swallowing the pool water and it burnt my throat. I kept saying to the coach and the senior that I can't do it. The coach said "You don't know yet if you can do it or not if you don't practice", so I trained and I found out that freestyle is the best swimming style I can do! In netball, my friends said almost the same thing, but I didn't feel the burst of motivation, of passion. I think I know why. If I suck in swimming, it won't affect anyone but me. Only I would get hurt in the process. It's a solo sport. Netball, on the other hand, requires teamwork. If I flunk, it might make the whole team flunk too. See what I mean? 

As a conclusion to my first long blog entry of the year, I'd like to say that I don't think I'm quite fit for netball. What if I faint during a match? Ooh, that wouldn't look good. I need to swim again. I think that's the only thing for me, swimming. 

Un-Inspired

Everyone is like posting everything on the first day of school. Or about the first day of school. Pfft the first day was boring. Aiman's moving away and I don't have any inspiration to write. Goodbye