2 Inovatif 2010

Hello, I'm Dania. I'm in 2 Inovatif 2010, and I fricking love it.

We had this end of year feast at Alamanda Putrajaya yesterday. 11 am. But most of them arrived at 11.20-11.30 am. Pizza Hut. When I was on my way, Aiman called. Turned out, he and Fikri, Adam, and Naim was already there, alone. Haha.

Sarah Athina already reserved the tables for us, 17 people. There's Aiman, Fikri, Adam, Naim, Khairi, Saiful, Afiq, Luqman, me, Siti Sarah, Sarah Athina, Hasya, Adriana, Afrina, Adnin, Adiba, Iman. Ashikin was supposed to come, but she couldn't make it. 3 large pizzas and 3 regular ones. The large ones are all pepperoni and cheese, while the regular ones... I only know the name of one, hawaiian chicken. Soup and coke for each person.

It costs RM216. Sarah Athina sponsored RM50. I used the class money of RM127. And Luqman gave us all a treat with his RM40. The pictures from the feast can be found on my Facebook and Iman's.

After eating, me and Sarah joined the guys. We watched this movie called The Next 3 Days. Kinda boring. Aiman slept while watching it. Even though it's not much, we still enjoyed it. Because we get to meet each other again.

See you guys next year.

Till You're Done

"He's with you till you're done"

I'll put that into mind next time.

Lies All Lies

I thought being friends settles everything. I thought that by being friends, we'd last till the end of the world. But hey, this isn't the first time I'm wrong about things isn't it?

All those promises, all those words. You said you'd buy me an Icy Grape after Eid Al-Fitri. You said you'd bring me to Alamanda to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, you insisted that I go and you wouldn't go without me. You said in 6 years, you'll go look for me and marry me.

I wonder if all guys make broken promises and go back on their words. It doesn't matter if you didn't say 'I swear', it's still called going back on your words. Gentlemen never go back on their words, ever. So this event just proves to me that you're not a gentleman.

I insisted on waiting 3 years, you didn't want me to. To you, I'm just a nuisance and I'm getting in the way of you focusing on god knows what (I think, no, I know you don't study). I tried reasoning with you, I asked you to study, I asked you not to skip classes. Why? Because I care about you and I want you to be a better person.

I just got over my ex when I met you, you were so understanding, and kind, you listened to all my rants. Then, I had a crush on you. After 2 months of keeping the secret from you, I blurted out. I felt like the luckiest girl alive that night on 11 something PM on someday in September (I decided dates weren't important because I know, deep down that it won't last till the 10th anniversary, but I still had hope). Heck, it didn't even last half a year. I texted you every single day, it was addictive. At first, I wasn't so keen on texting, but you texted me every day, I just replied and replied until then I realized, I'm addicted. It's like a drug, the strongest drug I know. Drugs that makes you cry almost all the time and makes you feel suicidal and you start blaming yourself you feel like you're a worthless living thing if you don't get them.

That is one hell of a drug.

I remember those times when we're both bored to death in June, texting kept us alive, literally. You read the whole post I made, the longest one. You actually read it. Guys don't bother reading other people's rants, especially girls, but you were different.

Were.

Then you left me, you broke off all contact with me. Now I think back of the words "He's not worth it. Leave him." and "You deserve someone better", I'm trying to convince myself that you're really not worth it. It might take time. But yeah. All those marrying me crap, you should have think twice or 10 times before you said it. Don't say you love me if you're going to treat me like this guy did : make me fall in love, leave me, let me be.

This sounds corny but I meant all these words. Why the hell would I tell people lies and get tired posting paragraphs of it? I wouldn't.

I don't tell lies, unlike you, my dear, sweet, honest Adiib.

You said you'd be my friend forever.

Family? Nah

I'm giving up. I can't stand living at my mom's place. I'm gonna take all my stuffs there and move it over here. Next year, my dad's gonna send me to school every morning and I'm gonna stay back at school, he's gonna pick me up in the evening. I know it sucks because having a nearby house is better. I can go to school with a bike, I can ask my maid to send the books I forgot to bring to school.

But I'm ready to give it all up. Because I'd rather live far from school, permanently, than go back to my mom's house.

To whoever reading this, don't judge me, because you don't have the experience of living inside my body, as me. You don't have a separated family, you don't have a bitchy attitude and an urge to swear in diaries when you're mad, you don't have a bitchy little sister who shows your diary about you swearing to your mom, you don't have a mom who treats you like shit.

You might have some of the above, but you definitely don't have all of them. So just STFU.

Thank you

I Am Invisible

*crying*

*sobbing*

*grabbing tissue*

*wiping tears*

*grab another tissue*

*wipes nose*

*sniffs*

What wrong did I do to you that you have to treat me like this? I said at least 5 times I was sorry. I called you countless times. I made wall posts on FB. And you're not responding. You treat me as if I didn't exist.

Watch Your Pants

Liar, liar, pants on fire

You freak. You dare lie to me? You think I'm just gonna sit here doing nothing while you lie to me because you think I love you so much?

Guess again

Note to Self when... Mood Swings

Dear Dania,

Act like a matured person. Yes, you got mad. But act like a matured person.

I'm proud of myself. Ceh mendeeeeee. Haha. But anyway... just try to blend in with the story will you?

I listened to his explanation, which... until now is not explained yet. I didn't storm out of Facebook with stupid thoughts just so he would know I'm mad. That is called a coward. You don't just run away to avoid people's explanation so you can make them feel guilty about it. If they're apologizing, then they're feeling guilty.

I know... Who am I to speak such things? The girl who's constantly swearing, the girl who can't have a stable mood. But I'm saying this as a reminder to MYSELF. This is the only time I act like a matured person, so better make the most of it. So that when I'm acting immature-like again, I can be reminded by reading this post and just calm down.

LOL WTH am I talking about? Haha back to immature again. :)

Voices

I heard voices last night, and it was talking to me. How could it be? I'm all alone in my room and my family's sleeping.

The voice was soft and baby-like. And it was like 'You there, sit there quietly'. I was like 'Who are you talking to? *stiffling laugh'. And the voice 'You, the one laughing there. I laughed a lot last night thanks to the voice. It was kinda offended when I said the voice is like a child's voice. Because it said "aaasaaaal budak kcik laaaa".

Then when I said I wanted to puke when the voice was being... never mind. I asked where is the emoticon for puking. Then the voice made puking sounds which are so unrealistic I laughed.

I desperately wanted to go to the toilet but I was scared (oh please, it's just across the hall). Then it softly said something inaudible. I was like 'WHAT??'. It replied to my question by screaming 'PANDANG BELAKANG!!'. You evil freak. I, an extreme coward, screamed and almost cried that the voice got scared hearing me. Hoho, serve you right.

No offense about the soft and baby-like thing eh, Adiib :P

3/11/10 Audience

Evaluate yourself, please and thank you

Can you see it?

Gratitude

And so, here I am, sitting on the bed, hugging a pillow, watching Kaichou wa Maid-Sama! at Animecrazy.net. Yes I know it might sound pretty boring to you, but I'm planning not to sleep tonight. I'll sleep tomorrow morning, and I'll wake up in the afternoon ~

5 days of holidays after the exams is really relaxing, the heck, it's fun because you don't have to worry about studying or anything anymore. To celebrate my gratitude, I'm recording a song on the piano.

Just for the end of exam's sake :)