Lies All Lies

I thought being friends settles everything. I thought that by being friends, we'd last till the end of the world. But hey, this isn't the first time I'm wrong about things isn't it?

All those promises, all those words. You said you'd buy me an Icy Grape after Eid Al-Fitri. You said you'd bring me to Alamanda to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, you insisted that I go and you wouldn't go without me. You said in 6 years, you'll go look for me and marry me.

I wonder if all guys make broken promises and go back on their words. It doesn't matter if you didn't say 'I swear', it's still called going back on your words. Gentlemen never go back on their words, ever. So this event just proves to me that you're not a gentleman.

I insisted on waiting 3 years, you didn't want me to. To you, I'm just a nuisance and I'm getting in the way of you focusing on god knows what (I think, no, I know you don't study). I tried reasoning with you, I asked you to study, I asked you not to skip classes. Why? Because I care about you and I want you to be a better person.

I just got over my ex when I met you, you were so understanding, and kind, you listened to all my rants. Then, I had a crush on you. After 2 months of keeping the secret from you, I blurted out. I felt like the luckiest girl alive that night on 11 something PM on someday in September (I decided dates weren't important because I know, deep down that it won't last till the 10th anniversary, but I still had hope). Heck, it didn't even last half a year. I texted you every single day, it was addictive. At first, I wasn't so keen on texting, but you texted me every day, I just replied and replied until then I realized, I'm addicted. It's like a drug, the strongest drug I know. Drugs that makes you cry almost all the time and makes you feel suicidal and you start blaming yourself you feel like you're a worthless living thing if you don't get them.

That is one hell of a drug.

I remember those times when we're both bored to death in June, texting kept us alive, literally. You read the whole post I made, the longest one. You actually read it. Guys don't bother reading other people's rants, especially girls, but you were different.

Were.

Then you left me, you broke off all contact with me. Now I think back of the words "He's not worth it. Leave him." and "You deserve someone better", I'm trying to convince myself that you're really not worth it. It might take time. But yeah. All those marrying me crap, you should have think twice or 10 times before you said it. Don't say you love me if you're going to treat me like this guy did : make me fall in love, leave me, let me be.

This sounds corny but I meant all these words. Why the hell would I tell people lies and get tired posting paragraphs of it? I wouldn't.

I don't tell lies, unlike you, my dear, sweet, honest Adiib.

You said you'd be my friend forever.