Step 3 : Epic Fail

I am a human. I have my own doubts. Sometimes I'm very childish. I skip classes just for the heck of it. No, step 3 has not arrived. I can't focus on not swearing and not skipping classes at the same time. I'll turn nuts.

Talking with guys, I understand them better than I understand most girls. Because girls always have mood swings which are confusing. Oh please don't tell me I have to record their period dates?

HECK NO.

But when I'm talking to him, it's a whole new level. Last night I didn't understand the jealousy of guys, but thank you, someone very, very nice for telling me. Now I do. And I am effing loving this info XD

I skipped class today. By now you guys should feel it's nothing out of the ordinary. I wanted to skip class before BM and after Maths. But the teacher miraculously arrived early, I was like 'Oh .....'. I didn't swear. I said to Sarah, 'aaww... I really wanted to skip class before the teacher comes'

And she said 'then let's go, like, now'.

"the teacher's here already"

"NOW"

and she dragged me out of the back door when the teacher is walking to the teacher's desk, she's not facing us. So yeah, we got away XD Aswan yelled 'hey where are you going?!' but we just ignored it. I was really excited because I got away. Ha.

We spent a lot of time outside class and walked super slow like a, yes, snail so as to waste as much BM time as possible. When we got back, we just went inside the back door and the teacher didn't even notice. Yay to us!

P/S : please do not copy any of the acts above if you have never experienced skipping class or if you just started skipping classes recently. thank you.

Change

I kinda miss the old me. I was nice. I seldom said no to any help requests. I didn't curse. Ditch that, I never cursed. I don't skip classes. I don't bully guys. I don't talk a lot loudly. I got straight A's. Oh please, every teacher who taught me in primary school will say I'm nice.

Now, it's a different story. I'm like Satan's mistress. I swear too much, your ears will hurt if you are near me. Ask Atiqah. I skip BM classes. After 10-20 minutes of the class, then I will come in. Then I got my payment by getting a big fat B for that subject. What a spoiler.

Just now, a 13-year old made me realize what a monster I'm turning myself into. Don't judge her, she's nice. And I thank her. Yeah, I'm really grateful to her. She made me realize how much I missed my old self. So now, I decided, I'm going to change. Change for the better.

Bit by bit.

1. Stop swearing.

2. Ignore all blue-related topics.

3. Stop skipping classes

I save the hardest for last. Really, I really, really can't stand BM that I just can't help skipping it ><>

Pray for my success, Atiqah? =) Thank you.

Tweet

I have been updating my Twitter a lot lately. Partly because I couldn't update my Tumblr so I have a lot more free time. Seriously, I can continue updating my Tumblr for hours and hours without stopping, sometimes I update my Tumblr from 8 in the morning till 8 pm. Tumblr has been slow ever since I got here.

This post is really a short one, I really don't know what to put in here besides swearing about my personal life which is completely none of your effing business but you know about it already since my mouth is sealed so I typed it away without caring who will read that, okay yeah I blabber my mouth about it to my friends and anybody who will care but I don't really care because this is my blog and I can post what the fuck I want.

Wow, that's a long sentence. Longest I have constructed. LOL. TTFN

Chores

Today is a boring day. There, I went straight to the damn point. I was woken up for sahur at what time only Allah and my mom knows. I thought it was my friend pulling my leg, so I smiled. Then I heard mummy's voice 'sahur',the smile disappeared and I woke up with a big blurred expression on my face. I went to the toilet to wash my face etc. and I saw my hair. Wow I thought.

After I reaaaaally woke up for the day, mummy asked me to put on the bedsheets for the bed in the room which Pak Long would sleep in. I was like yeah, yeah, I'd do it with a sleepy face. After I took a bath, I went straight to the bedroom and put on the bedsheets with a lot of effort (pathetic). Last night I had to put on the bedsheets for 3 beds. When 1 was done, I was like yessssss!! then I looked to the left and saw 2 more beds I said alaaaaa... lagi 2.

Today when I was doing my homework (yeah I have tons of them) I was disturbed. I was asked to put on the hooks for the curtains, and hang them up. Then pull them down, fix the hooks again, and hang them up again. God, can't I do it just once??? Alhamdulillah I only had to do it for 2 rooms. One room has 4 curtains and the other room had 5. But it was kinda cool anyway, because I don't get to do this kinda stuff at home.

And now, I'm at the salon (again). My cousin wanted to perm her hair just. like. mine. Haha. Jealous much? LOL JK. I'm only doing this post because I'm bored. TTFN. =)

The Human That Disgusts Me

You guys know the girl who started this war? Yeah it was fun at the beginning. But it's really starting to get on my nerves. I'm lucky I have friends nice enough to back me up. Yeeesh, I hate the girl like hell.

At first she liked Daniel, but Daniel didn't like her. I don't give a damn. She asked Daniel to be her stepbrother, Daniel didn't want to. He asked me to give him reasons so he could give em to Alicia. I said 'Just tell her I don't allow it.'. And so he did. Then she started hating me. Well, she already started hating me when Daniel rejected her.

Let's continue. Then when Ariff defended me on Formspring, she asked Ariff on Formspring why did he chose me instead of her. Hello, that's my boyfriend. And you never even knew him. Moreover, you sweared at him. You really don't know any shame huh, bitch? She already has a boyfriend : Muhammad Danial Boboy. And now she's still angry because of her ex-crush Daniel? Oh god, BITCH, STOP IT. You don't deserve anybody if you have a boyfriend but you still want people's boyfriend and you still have a crush on somebody else.

You don't pity your current boyfriend? I wonder what will he do if he knows that? I'm gonna show you guys some proof that this Danial Boboy is her boyfriend. Don't you guys feel sorry for him. He got a bitch who doesn't know how to appreciate the things she has. Oh yeah, Eira. I noticed that you're friends with this Danial. Do you mind telling me who he is actually?

Then she started talking about assholes. God, I think her brain's contaminated. To think that a 13 year old talking about that kind of stuff? It's just plain gross. She doesn't know how to respect her elders, I expect.

Allah, I hate her.

If she isn't destroyed, I'll destroy her. In whatsoever way. Come and see me. And I'll crush that girl to pieces with no feeling of pity whatsoever.

She disgusts me.

I wish I never knew Daniel. It has brought me more miseries than happiness. There are more than Alicia's unreasonable tantrums.

Wishes Under the Night Sky

This morning (2 am is still morning, look at the 'am'), I got into a bit of misunderstanding. It was all due to my emotional breakdown at 12 after telling Atiqah about my... um, state of health. Then I was kinda moody because I was reminded of my state of health. I forget about it when I'm enjoying myself. But Atiqah needs to know. She deserves to know, as my best friend.

Enough with my health, I'm gonna tell you about the misunderstanding this morning. Okay, correction. I'm gonna tell you how I feel about the misunderstanding this morning. As usual, I'll get all touchy and sensitive when I'm going to sleep. So it happens a boy and a word came by. I got all moody because I thought he didn't like it and... well I still think he doesn't like it, even though he said he does.

He said he's sorry, I won't listen (Usually I'd give in, but since there was an emotional breakdown...). He said he's sorry, still not listening. He said he's sorry, I said if he says another 'sorry', I'm gonna force him to say ____. It's private, I'm not gonna tell you!! Then he said okay, but he's still sorry. I said 'You said sorry! Now say _____. Say it. Now' and he was 'Do I really need to say it? ______ hurm... *dead*'. Ouch that really hurts. I've been wanting to hear those from him so bad I'll give away my... uh... my glasses (I'll buy a new one anyway) to hear those words. But he said it in a 'oh-i-so-dont-want-to-say-this' kinda way.

Then I sulked, I sulked so bad. His 'haha's were no longer there in the texts I got. Then he said 'Ok I'll say it ______ bye' after I sulked for... 45 minutes? LOL I don't know. I was so devastated because he's using the words just to persuade me not to sulk. Not out of sincerity. I was devastated, you know, devastated. Then I said I'm sorry, it's my fault. I just realized it's my fault and I'm the one to blame for my own feelings.

Then my phone battery went low and I can't reply to his message wishing me goodnight. He sent another message saying he's sorry (again...). Then I got up from my bed, walked in the dark, almost fell down, stumbling on things, sneezing all the time, groping for my phone charger. I plugged in the charger at the socket used to plug in the TV wire. Then I replied his message. He didn't reply. I waited there, in front of the tv, sitting against the wall, on the carpet. No blankets, I was too tired to go get one. Gosh it was cold over there. I just hugged myself asleep.

When I got up a couple of minutes later, it was great. I got a fever. Nice. Just what I needed. After not getting his reply for ... (sorry I didn't count again), I lied down on my bed, pulled the blanket over my head, and tried to sleep. I tried, but I couldn't. Then I started wishing. I wish my 'disease' came back and I'm not here but at the hospital, or clinic, or in an isolated room.

I wished I was dead.

Thank you for reading this useless diary of mine.

Formspring War I

This evening, there's the Formspring War I. Cool huh? It's between me and Alicia Zikriela SMITH. Gosh, I don't know why she insists on putting an English name when she's got a proper Muslim name to be proud of? Now look what she's gotten herself into. My friends are teasing her name. Serves her right.

Really, I don't know what's gotten into her head. All of a sudden she starts attacking me on Formspring. She called me a bitch. God her English sucks and she says 'BTW, my english is way better than yours so fuck yourself'. How can I fuck myself, please tell me?

You can read the details at my Formspring account here. All questions are welcomed on my Formspring. If you want to send a hate message, go ahead I don't mind. But someone else might. I got more than 5 people backing me up just now. So, what do you think?

But today is really fun. Just a single hate message on Formspring created all this chaos. Oh right, I wanted to tell you about Alicia. She's only 13. She likes Daniel but Daniel doesn't like her so she hates me. After being rejected in love, she wanted him to be his stepbrother. Well, I did something. But just to help him, not of my own accord. He didn't want to in the first place and asked me to give him reasons so he could use them.

Sorry Daniel, but I just need to post that. Since then, she hated me even more. Here's something, try to understand it :

Dot err offer beach.

If you can understand it, good for you. I love the guys/gals who defended me back there. Love you.

Brown Crown

I just got back from the hairdressing salon. My cousin and younger sis also went there to get a haircut. I went there to get my hair permed. I love it when my hair gets pampered.

Guess how long did styling my hair took? Well, give up? It's

two and a half hours.

Haha, did that spoil your guessing? Thought so. You probably saw that first before you read this whole post. I really can't sit still, can I? The whole time when my hair is not being pampered, I'll turn around, stretch, change sitting positions, sway my body left and right. Really, I can never sit still.

But the waiting was worth it. Oh yeah, my hair was permed at the back, and at the front it was straight but curled at the end. Don't even try imagining it. I never ever imagined my hair would be in this hairstyle. My hair got washed twice.

Did you remember I dyed my hair once in burgundy? Well, the chemicals they put on my hair to perm it washed a bit of the dye. But it was a long time since I dyed my hair anyway, so who cares?

Bye.

So, yesterday was the last day of school. School was fun yesterday, all the laughing and stuffs. Up till now, I've got 6 results. And... I regret not studying like hell for Sejarah and KH. I'm going down and down and down... I'm determined to study hard for the final exam.

This time it's for real, no more bluffing, Dania. The only papers I haven't know my results are BM (lafhskfahskfajw) and Maths. I won't tell you guys (Atiqah, Syazana, Lee, readers) my results out of fear being called 'bajet'. I won't even answer if you ask me, so don't bother. I think only my classmates know my results.

Enough about test papers, let's talk about yesterday. Yesterday during PK (last period), I was bored. Then my friends asked me to join them. At first we played Clap 369. You don't need to know how to play it. It's kinda complicated to explain, ya know? The next game we played is Bom Ba Cheep. Aiman won 2 (I think) out of 3 games. Saiful said 'If Bom Ba Cheep' was played in the Olympics, Ghana would win'. For those who don't understand this, I'll give you a clue : Aiman's skin color is _______.

After that, we played Banana Fried (Adriana accidentally pronounced it like this instead of Fried Banana). When it comes to 'pendek', my group continued with 'pendek Aiman'. Yeah, we love teasing Aiman. Oh oh, there's this one. 'Suck' -> 'suck you' -> 'you' -> 'you bitch'. Haha no offense to anyone. My class is like that all the time.

So yeah, yesterday was fun. Sorry for the bitch part.